Meet some of the candidates who weren't endorsed:
The silliness on the list-serve of the National Conference of Editorial Writers, of which I am a member, started yesterday with this post from an opinion writer from Mobile, Ala.:
"OK, we're almost on Election Day and we've had enough candidates troop through the office for endorsement interviews to keep us from getting any work done for the last six weeks. So, what was your editorial board's Twilight Zone moment? Our hands-down winner in Mobile was a criminal court of appeals candidate who, in the course of decrying political labels, informed us that he was NOT the Antichrist. Top that."
Editorial writers from all over the country, weary of interviewing scores of political candidates - many of whom are even more unfit for office than those presently serving - responded to the challenge. Over the next two days, I will share some of those anecdotes with you to give you better insight into some of the characters newspapers don't endorse.
From the Daily News-Record, Harrisonburg, Va.: There was a candidate in Florida running for governor some years ago who had spent time in a mental institution. When his opponents pointed this out, he got his release papers, waved them in front of reporters and said, "Some of the finest doctors in the state of Florida have certified I'm in good mental health. I challenge my opponents to prove the same."
From the Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch: Some years ago, a candidate for common pleas judge showed up with the customary glossy, full-color handout literature detailing his background and qualifications. Included was a family picture with wife, kids and dog, all looking like the perfect embodiment of "Leave It To Beaver." One of us said something about the dog and the candidate, sheepishly but without hesitation, admitted he had rented the dog for the picture.
From the Tri-City Herald in Washington state: A recently divorced candidate for Kennewick City Council last year told us he was running because he thought it would be a good way to meet women. He lost the race; not sure how his social life is going.
From the Detroit News: For years, we have for years ended every endorsement interview by throwing out a verbal fishing line: "What are you glad we didn"t ask you about? Any skeletons in your closet? Anything that could come out that will embarrass us if we decide to endorse you? Might as well tell us now." The Secretary of State, who enforces traffic laws, fessed up to two recent speeding tickets. A county commission candidate told us his kids didn't know their mother was his second wife and he had never figured out how to tell them. And a guy running for Congress, after a long pause, let tumble, "Look, I know what it says in the court papers but I never beat those kids. And that bankruptcy was a one-time thing. I'll square those IRS issues, too, if I get elected."
From The Anniston Star, Texas: We asked an appellate court candidate why he was running for a spot on the court. "I got tired of bitchin' about that court," he sighed. Asked about campaign cash, he said, "I couldn't raise money with a pistol." In summing up, he ran through the prerequisite Alabama ritual of speaking of his humble roots and deep religious faith, then paused and added, "I'm Baptist, OK, but I go in the supermarket and buy my own damn beer. I don't somebody else in after it."
From the Post-Star, Glen Falls, N.Y.: We had a Green Party candidate for mayor - a 19-year-old community college student who rode in here on a skateboard and whose platform consisted entirely of getting the city to legalize hemp. When we informed him the mayor couldn't legally do that, we just kind of looked at each other, said thank you, and he got up and left.
From the Olympian, Olympia, Wash.: The county coroner is retiring after 20 years. Two deputy coroners are running to replace her - one a Democrat, the other a Republican. The coroner is a Democrat and is endorsing the Democrat to replace her. We endorsed the Republican. I knew the coroner would not be happy so was not surprised two days later to see a letter with her return address marked "personal" arrive in the mail. The card simply said, "Mike, No warm slab for you! Judy" This is the same coroner who held a fund-raising auction and served wine via an IV line.
From the Wisconsin State Journal: In Wisconsin we have a kindly old gentleman, still much beloved, who has been in the Legislature so long that the constant exposure to mindlessness has left him, well, mindless. At one point in the interview, he went on a three-minute trip through unrelated sentence fragments, none of which had anything to do with whatever we asked. We then turned to his opponent and asked her to respond. She paused, then said: I'm not sure what he said. The rest of the interview was superfluous.
Two of our favorites from previous years: We had a lot of trouble getting a state Assembly candidate to come in for an interview. When he finally agreed, we asked him why he had been so reluctant. He explained that he had a metal plate in his head, which the FBI used to monitor his thoughts. He was concerned that we were in cahoots with the FBI. Our editorial page editor at the time made some heaving sounds, said he was having an asthma attack, and excused himself from the room. We next heard gleeful cackling from the hallway.
On another occasion a candidate for school board brought his young son to the interview. When it was over, we discovered the boy had drawn many lovely pictures on our publisher's teakwood desk in purple magic marker.
"OK, we're almost on Election Day and we've had enough candidates troop through the office for endorsement interviews to keep us from getting any work done for the last six weeks. So, what was your editorial board's Twilight Zone moment? Our hands-down winner in Mobile was a criminal court of appeals candidate who, in the course of decrying political labels, informed us that he was NOT the Antichrist. Top that."
Editorial writers from all over the country, weary of interviewing scores of political candidates - many of whom are even more unfit for office than those presently serving - responded to the challenge. Over the next two days, I will share some of those anecdotes with you to give you better insight into some of the characters newspapers don't endorse.
From the Daily News-Record, Harrisonburg, Va.: There was a candidate in Florida running for governor some years ago who had spent time in a mental institution. When his opponents pointed this out, he got his release papers, waved them in front of reporters and said, "Some of the finest doctors in the state of Florida have certified I'm in good mental health. I challenge my opponents to prove the same."
From the Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch: Some years ago, a candidate for common pleas judge showed up with the customary glossy, full-color handout literature detailing his background and qualifications. Included was a family picture with wife, kids and dog, all looking like the perfect embodiment of "Leave It To Beaver." One of us said something about the dog and the candidate, sheepishly but without hesitation, admitted he had rented the dog for the picture.
From the Tri-City Herald in Washington state: A recently divorced candidate for Kennewick City Council last year told us he was running because he thought it would be a good way to meet women. He lost the race; not sure how his social life is going.
From the Detroit News: For years, we have for years ended every endorsement interview by throwing out a verbal fishing line: "What are you glad we didn"t ask you about? Any skeletons in your closet? Anything that could come out that will embarrass us if we decide to endorse you? Might as well tell us now." The Secretary of State, who enforces traffic laws, fessed up to two recent speeding tickets. A county commission candidate told us his kids didn't know their mother was his second wife and he had never figured out how to tell them. And a guy running for Congress, after a long pause, let tumble, "Look, I know what it says in the court papers but I never beat those kids. And that bankruptcy was a one-time thing. I'll square those IRS issues, too, if I get elected."
From The Anniston Star, Texas: We asked an appellate court candidate why he was running for a spot on the court. "I got tired of bitchin' about that court," he sighed. Asked about campaign cash, he said, "I couldn't raise money with a pistol." In summing up, he ran through the prerequisite Alabama ritual of speaking of his humble roots and deep religious faith, then paused and added, "I'm Baptist, OK, but I go in the supermarket and buy my own damn beer. I don't somebody else in after it."
From the Post-Star, Glen Falls, N.Y.: We had a Green Party candidate for mayor - a 19-year-old community college student who rode in here on a skateboard and whose platform consisted entirely of getting the city to legalize hemp. When we informed him the mayor couldn't legally do that, we just kind of looked at each other, said thank you, and he got up and left.
From the Olympian, Olympia, Wash.: The county coroner is retiring after 20 years. Two deputy coroners are running to replace her - one a Democrat, the other a Republican. The coroner is a Democrat and is endorsing the Democrat to replace her. We endorsed the Republican. I knew the coroner would not be happy so was not surprised two days later to see a letter with her return address marked "personal" arrive in the mail. The card simply said, "Mike, No warm slab for you! Judy" This is the same coroner who held a fund-raising auction and served wine via an IV line.
From the Wisconsin State Journal: In Wisconsin we have a kindly old gentleman, still much beloved, who has been in the Legislature so long that the constant exposure to mindlessness has left him, well, mindless. At one point in the interview, he went on a three-minute trip through unrelated sentence fragments, none of which had anything to do with whatever we asked. We then turned to his opponent and asked her to respond. She paused, then said: I'm not sure what he said. The rest of the interview was superfluous.
Two of our favorites from previous years: We had a lot of trouble getting a state Assembly candidate to come in for an interview. When he finally agreed, we asked him why he had been so reluctant. He explained that he had a metal plate in his head, which the FBI used to monitor his thoughts. He was concerned that we were in cahoots with the FBI. Our editorial page editor at the time made some heaving sounds, said he was having an asthma attack, and excused himself from the room. We next heard gleeful cackling from the hallway.
On another occasion a candidate for school board brought his young son to the interview. When it was over, we discovered the boy had drawn many lovely pictures on our publisher's teakwood desk in purple magic marker.
posted by Randy Bergmann at 9:58 AM
1 Comments:
How ironic that you include this in your blog as you do your best to make sure that no other voices get heard right here in New Jersey.
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