More candidates who weren't endorsed
As promised, here's part two of anecdotes about eccentric political candidates who have appeared before the editorial boards of the nation's newspapers, seeking endorsements. The stories came from posts on the list-serve of the National Conference of Editorial Writers last week.
From the Milwaukee Journal: A candidate for County Board had cooked up an array of imaginative ideas, including a downright visionary plan to enlist the Post Office's help in spying on welfare recipients because letter carriers, he claimed, know what's going on in everybody's house. This guy was way ahead of the Patriot Act. We didn't endorse him. He managed to get himself elected anyway, and not long thereafter acquired the nickname "Bones" for his visionary proposal to require organ donation by all county jail inmates - presumably dead at the time of harvesting, although Bones hadn't worked out all of the details.
From the Omaha World-Herald: A candidate for a legislative post a few years ago showed up with what he described as the most important credentials in the race. He then displayed two photos: one of his mother and the other of his champion show dog. "Here's my mother and my bitch." Editorial board members were momentarily speechless as we stumbled to figure out what the next question should be.
From the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette: We had a candidate, Sam Houston Melton, who was a candidate each year down in Louisiana in the '90s. Whether it was governor or Guv Lite or whatever, he always ran for something. Forgot what his platform was, but I'll never forget the interviews. Always came dressed in full Confederate uniform. Folks, I'm talking the outfit, the boots, the hat, the sword, everything. But he was better than the guy who tried to legally change his name to None Of The Above.
From The Leaf-Chronicle, Clarksville, Tenn.: This year, we have a mayoral candidate (it takes only 25 signatures to get on the ballot) who thinks the city should go into the casket-manufacturing business. I haven't been able to quite follow his line of reasoning, but it has something to do with the fact he lived in a cemetery for months as a boy after running away from home decades ago. Sadly, he was not among the 11 mayoral candidates we chose to bring in for an editorial board interview. His name probably will, though, be in the office pool when it comes to guessing how many votes he'll be able to garner on Tuesday.
From The Truth, Elkhart, Ind.: I had to interview two Libertarian candidates this time around. The one running for county council said that he believed in transparent government. Fair enough. But then he went on to say that he believed all county council candidates were being paid under the table, but that he was afraid to say that because his car might be blown up (ostensibly with him in it). Needless to say, I quoted him. His Libertarian buddy running for state representative doesn't believe in kindergarten at all. Says it's just a plot to keep kids away from their parents and another way this is becoming a Communist country. That's Elkhart County for you.
From the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: A Democratic candidate for comptroller was wearing a shoulder holster with a snub-nose .38 - despite the warning signs all over the building that prohibit even concealed carry permit holders from bringing a firearm onto the property (I leave mine in the car while at work). When I challenged him on it - "Uh, Mr. Head, they call it concealed carry for a reason. No one is supposed to know you have a gun" - he launched into a speech about how he's never going to be a victim. He's never going to be comptroller, either. From the Star-Tribune (Minnesota): We interviewed a fellow in the primary whose son had dropped out of high school. When asked why he was running he said his son had told him that he wouldn't go back to school unless his dad ran for state Senate. So he did. (He lost in the primary.)
From the Milwaukee Journal: A candidate for County Board had cooked up an array of imaginative ideas, including a downright visionary plan to enlist the Post Office's help in spying on welfare recipients because letter carriers, he claimed, know what's going on in everybody's house. This guy was way ahead of the Patriot Act. We didn't endorse him. He managed to get himself elected anyway, and not long thereafter acquired the nickname "Bones" for his visionary proposal to require organ donation by all county jail inmates - presumably dead at the time of harvesting, although Bones hadn't worked out all of the details.
From the Omaha World-Herald: A candidate for a legislative post a few years ago showed up with what he described as the most important credentials in the race. He then displayed two photos: one of his mother and the other of his champion show dog. "Here's my mother and my bitch." Editorial board members were momentarily speechless as we stumbled to figure out what the next question should be.
From the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette: We had a candidate, Sam Houston Melton, who was a candidate each year down in Louisiana in the '90s. Whether it was governor or Guv Lite or whatever, he always ran for something. Forgot what his platform was, but I'll never forget the interviews. Always came dressed in full Confederate uniform. Folks, I'm talking the outfit, the boots, the hat, the sword, everything. But he was better than the guy who tried to legally change his name to None Of The Above.
From The Leaf-Chronicle, Clarksville, Tenn.: This year, we have a mayoral candidate (it takes only 25 signatures to get on the ballot) who thinks the city should go into the casket-manufacturing business. I haven't been able to quite follow his line of reasoning, but it has something to do with the fact he lived in a cemetery for months as a boy after running away from home decades ago. Sadly, he was not among the 11 mayoral candidates we chose to bring in for an editorial board interview. His name probably will, though, be in the office pool when it comes to guessing how many votes he'll be able to garner on Tuesday.
From The Truth, Elkhart, Ind.: I had to interview two Libertarian candidates this time around. The one running for county council said that he believed in transparent government. Fair enough. But then he went on to say that he believed all county council candidates were being paid under the table, but that he was afraid to say that because his car might be blown up (ostensibly with him in it). Needless to say, I quoted him. His Libertarian buddy running for state representative doesn't believe in kindergarten at all. Says it's just a plot to keep kids away from their parents and another way this is becoming a Communist country. That's Elkhart County for you.
From the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: A Democratic candidate for comptroller was wearing a shoulder holster with a snub-nose .38 - despite the warning signs all over the building that prohibit even concealed carry permit holders from bringing a firearm onto the property (I leave mine in the car while at work). When I challenged him on it - "Uh, Mr. Head, they call it concealed carry for a reason. No one is supposed to know you have a gun" - he launched into a speech about how he's never going to be a victim. He's never going to be comptroller, either. From the Star-Tribune (Minnesota): We interviewed a fellow in the primary whose son had dropped out of high school. When asked why he was running he said his son had told him that he wouldn't go back to school unless his dad ran for state Senate. So he did. (He lost in the primary.)
posted by Randy Bergmann at 9:29 AM
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